Choosing to change isn’t easy. Seeing a need for change is even harder. We humans are creatures of habit and we can easily continue doing the same things over and over without a thought.
One of my biggest changes was choosing to transform from victim to victor. I’m the SURVIVOR that I am today because of changes that I made over 7 years ago. Out of desperation, I sought out a major life change. I couldn’t continue to be the person I once was. I wasn’t happy. I’d been severely abused and was broken in my mind and spirit. I didn’t know who I was. I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I’m honored to be alive. I’m humbled that God would spare my life. I was a preteen convinced that suicide was my only way out. I couldn’t see any other option. I was broken and depleted. I was suffering in silence. Depression was consuming me at a rapid pace and no one knew. If I’d had it my way, I’d be gone.
But God. He stepped in and saved me when I was over life and no longer wanted to be a part of the living. He eventually gave me a reason to live. God loved on and was so patient with me. What a blessing!
I wish I could say that my life was beautiful after God saved me but it wasn’t.
Why even try to heal from trauma and abuse?
I get it. It’s hard work and it takes a lot of time. It takes being completely committed to self and personal well-being. It requires one to be okay with being uncomfortable, sometimes unsure, and perhaps the bad guy to your abuser(s).
I want hope and healing. I’m dedicated to living a life that is genuinely good. As much as I want it and as dedicated as I am it’s not always easy. My mind has been programmed throughout years of abuse and deprogramming it has been hard. Read More
Since I was a girl, I’ve struggled with depression and chronic illness. I was tender, easily-wounded, and obsessed with gaining (and hearing) approval from the ones I loved. I didn’t understand that their inability to express approval didn’t mean that I wasn’t good enough.
After experiencing domestic violence in my adult years, completely losing all trace of myself, and nearly losing my mind, I was emotinally and mentally destroyed. Read More