What’s domestic violence, anyway?!
- It’s a pattern of coercive behaviors designed to dominate an intimte partner or family member (the use of power and control)
- It’s physical, pychological, emotional, financial, spiritual, cyber / online, etc.
- It’s abuse between family members, significant others, roommates, etc.
- It can look like bullying, name calling, threats, intimidation, hurtful jokes, witholding medicine or money, isolation, hitting, biting, raising hands and fist, and so much more
Domestic violence can happen to anyone.
F E A R
This element and strong emotion runs rampant in abusive relationships.
Confusion and uncertainty pop up so often yet each time they feel so unexpected. You’re in love but not sure if you’re doing it right. You wonder why you can’t just be happy and feel peace. You ask yourself, “What am I doing wrong? How can I fix this”? But that’s the problem. You can not fix a relationship. It’s not your responsibility to make someone love you and make you feel safe.
You deserve so much more.
I’ve been there. I lived in extreme mental and emotional abuse. I was afraid and pretty sure that my fiancé would become physically violent. I was so in love with him that I forgot to love ME!
Choosing to change isn’t easy. Seeing a need for change is even harder. We humans are creatures of habit and we can easily continue doing the same things over and over without a thought.
One of my biggest changes was choosing to transform from victim to victor. I’m the SURVIVOR that I am today because of changes that I made over 7 years ago. Out of desperation, I sought out a major life change. I couldn’t continue to be the person I once was. I wasn’t happy. I’d been severely abused and was broken in my mind and spirit. I didn’t know who I was. I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I’m honored to be alive. I’m humbled that God would spare my life. I was a preteen convinced that suicide was my only way out. I couldn’t see any other option. I was broken and depleted. I was suffering in silence. Depression was consuming me at a rapid pace and no one knew. If I’d had it my way, I’d be gone.
But God. He stepped in and saved me when I was over life and no longer wanted to be a part of the living. He eventually gave me a reason to live. God loved on and was so patient with me. What a blessing!
I wish I could say that my life was beautiful after God saved me but it wasn’t.
Why even try to heal from trauma and abuse?
I get it. It’s hard work and it takes a lot of time. It takes being completely committed to self and personal well-being. It requires one to be okay with being uncomfortable, sometimes unsure, and perhaps the bad guy to your abuser(s).
I want hope and healing. I’m dedicated to living a life that is genuinely good. As much as I want it and as dedicated as I am it’s not always easy. My mind has been programmed throughout years of abuse and deprogramming it has been hard. Read More