Ignoring the pain is easier than facing it. Periodt (as the younger folks say).

Sitting in shame and guilt and regret is easier than facing the pain and healing from it. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is get up from my rut of bitterness, pain, and feeling worthless. I had become convinced that the abusive relationship I was once in was my fault. I blamed myself continuously. After that, I blamed others for not warning me. The last person I blamed was my abuser. He should have been the first!

It was hard to admit or even understand that I had been abused and that there was a perpetrator. I had to face that truth. I had to look my experience in the eye. I had to tell abuse that I was no longer afraid of it and that I wasn’t going to be pushed around any more. It was easier said than done. Lawd! 😔

Many years later, I am still refusing to be pushed around by abuse. I still have memories of being abused. I have low, emotional moments. My mental and emotional state have never been the same. I am sometimes triggered by people, movies, or even music. However, I understand what happened to me. I understand the dynamics. I understand that there was someone who tried to have power and control over me. I understand that I didn’t understand what was going on at the time. I have forgiven my younger self. I have learned to understand where she was and why she was there. I realize that over the years she has grown. She has evolved. She is so much more than I ever thought I could be. ♡

Today, I strive to continue my journey of hope and healing. So many days I feel alone. I consistently have to face the demons of my past. But I have found peace and I have hope. My healing process has been continual and I have worked through many layers; but I am a SURVIVOR. I am determined to never suffer in silence again.

It would be easier to hang my head down and be quiet. The thoughts of giving up have been tempting. I have questioned whether or not I am being effective. I’ve been through many horrible things that have all been EASIER than facing my pain on my road to recovery. However, nothing has been so POWERFUL as boldly facing my truth, owning it, and healing through the pain. I am no longer running from my past. I have learned to be honest with myself about myself. I refuse to be ashamed of my story. I am a warrior. I have learned to THRIVE. 💪🏾💜

Just like me, it may be easier for you to ignore what you’ve been through. It may be easier for you to go through life angry and with a closed heart and mind. Maybe you’ve decided to never trust anyone again. Perhaps you no longer believe in love. Of course, you have a right to believe in whatever you want to. I’d like to invite you to try believing in healing. I’d like to encourage you  to take a step forward outside of your comfort zone.  I’d like to challenge you to give a voice to all the hidden pain and sadness that deserves to be heard. You don’t have to suffer in silence.

You don’t have to tell the entire world all of your business but you can find ways to speak up and speak out about the things you haven’t talked about for years. It might be anonymously in the form of a blog. It might be one-on-one with an individual. You might write a book or volunteer to work with youth. You may simply, and most importantly, admit to yourself that you were injured. That is the most powerful thing. Speaking truth to ourselves is the key that sets us free. We are often bound by lies we have forced ourselves to believe. You don’t have to continue to believe the lies.

Why not Break Free?  It is possible. 

I’d love to be of help to you during your process. I offer FREE, 15-minute conversations. Simply schedule a call (or virtual chat via Zoom) by visiting the Services page on my website. 

 

Hope Always, 

💜Missy 

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