Sometimes, without much effort, we fall in love with parts of people. We love the way they walk; their crooked grin; their laugh; how sexy they make us feel; that cow lick; or the very sound of their voice. We even come to love their quirks and flaws. But sometimes, we miss the more important clues. We miss or ignore the parts of them that violate, belittle, manipulate, and are overly aggressive or selfish. We excuse their frequent agitation, outbursts of anger and lack of concern for others. We don’t confront them when they do things we don’t like because we’re so engrossed with the parts of them that we adore. It’s important that we step back and see the full picture. We must evaluate every relationship and be honest with ourselves.
I’m not saying that this process is easy. It’s difficult to un-fall for someone. It’s difficult to accept something negative about someone that you have come to love. As difficult as it is, however, it’s still possible. Not only is it possible but it’s necessary. Especially, when the relationship takes a negative effect on your life and your quality of living. This is why I encourage people to know why it is they do what they do. This is why people need to know why they love the people they love. When we know why it’s much easier to evaluate the relationship and make sure that what we get is actually what we have been looking for. Toxic relationships can start at any time. Whether you are the most well person who has high self-esteem or if you are not well and have low self-esteem. Toxic relationships form because of opportunity. They form because at some point, they were able to fill a void or play a role in our lives that no one else and nothing else could.
Walking away from toxic and abusive relationships gets easier when you understand that the relationship does not meet your need. If a relationship is producing harm it is not meeting the needs of health. If a relationship has any abusive aspects to it, it is not a relationship of love. It may be a relationship of convenience. It may be a relationship of high and low moments; but it is not a relationship that produces and dwells in love.
I have lived this message. I’m not giving you a theory or something I read in a textbook. I lived it. I walked away from it; and, in a weird sort of way, I’m better because of it. The pain and the brokenness that I experienced so devastating that it put in me a fight to live a better life of Hope and happiness. If it wasn’t for the abuse and misuse, I would not have as many reasons to fight.
I discovered that I’m worth more than can be said in words. You are, too. We are worth more than any ruby or diamond or pearl. More than any monetary value that you can place on anything. A human life is a miracle. It’s the greatest miracle. And it deserves to be treated like the miracle that it is. First, by us as individuals, and then by those that we meet.
I’m always honored to be able to share these blog posts with my audience. There are people that I know and people I don’t know. I’m always honored to share the things that I’ve learned because I want so badly to see people thrive. I want so badly to see people go from victim to someone who overcomes every single obstacle. I know what it feels like to give up on life. More importantly, I know what it feels like to connect with a reason for living.