Happy Anniversary to me!! I’ve been blogging for two years this month. Recently, I changed my blogging platform and I’m adjusting to my new blog home. I will be posting new material as well as blogs that were previously published on blog.momentswithmissy.com. I’m excited about taking my blogging up a notch and attempting to write more frequently. I enjoy writing but I definitely overthink it sometimes. I have to remember to stay true to who I am and my message. My job is to share my heart in hopes that I help someone to be encouraged, knowing that they aren’t alone. The human struggle is a common one and everyone deals with hidden challenges. I like to bring some of those challenges to light, exposing them, so they aren’t such a taboo.
If you’re having a difficult time right now, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you or your life, necessarily. Life is complex and full of joy and sorrow. Moments with Missy exists to reassure you that you have the tools necessary to succeed, overcome, survive and thrive inside of you. You posses so many answers. Sometimes you just need someone to help you access them. If I can ever be of help, feel free to contact me. I dare not suggest that I have all the answers; but I’m willing to be vulnerable so that you can benefit.
Once again, welcome to the new Moments with Missy blog. Make yourself at home. Be sure to subscribe to the blog by visiting my website, www.momentswithmissy.com. Thank you for all of your support. I appreciate every comment, share, book purchase, event attendance, etc. You make the Moments with Missy community what it is.
About a week ago, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to be frustrated any more. I just decided. It’s so cool to be in charge of emotions that way. So, here’s the back story.
I’ve been a sassy, successful single for some time now and I have to admit that I was getting antsy. I’ve been excited about all the emotional and mental healing I’ve experienced this year. I’m no longer scared to be in a relationship, the fear of repeating my past relationship nightmare is greatly reduced and I’m open to exploring romance possibilities. So, excited, I marched up to God and in so many words said, hey, I’m ready! Well, obviously, He wasn’t ready to share me with anyone because months later I found myself still single. So, I became frustrated (there were many other circumstances that played into my frustration; but I’ll reserve those details for a later post 😉).
After spending quite some time frustrated with the fact that I was ready to love again and the opportunity hadn’t presented itself, it’s as if a light bulb came on in my brain. Why am I frustrated about being single when my life and circumstance have been designed by God? Things became so clear. I was stressing needlessly. I’ve mastered and taught others the art of thinking right to get the best results in life and here I was failing miserably at practicing the art in my dating life. What was I thinking? I’m aware things happen when it’s time; yet I was getting distracted by my timeline, emotions, the fact that I’m getting older, etc. I know that my life is so much more than a relationship status. I have no doubt. But I got distracted with trying to see and understand the future – a habit I thought I had stopped a long time ago.
So, I had to start October off in refocus mode. My life is about ministry, happiness, hope and healing, with a goal of living my best life possible. Life isn’t about marriage, status, falling in love and being found by The One. God didn’t allow me to overcome depression, suicide, bitterness, etc. for me to obsess on where my good man is at. Not at all. So, I started getting my mind right and stumbled on to my breakthrough – a simple decision. I chose not to do God’s job but to focus on mine.
What’s the use of spending so much time praying for a husband that I forget to prepare to be a wife? I refuse to waste time. Whether we’re single, dating, married, divorced or separated, life is meant to be lived and we should always work to better ourselves. Growing, healing, laughter and love are my passions and they have been experienced during every season of my life as long as I don’t get in the way and hinder the process. I’ve decided to consistently forget about the time and focus on the mission: living life and enjoying it to the fullest.
I’m still fresh into this new mindset but it has been beautiful. My desire for a healthy, loving relationship hasn’t gone away but it’s not in the driver’s seat. It doesn’t get to determine my mood, consume my thoughts or be the thing that drives me. What drives me are my passions, life purpose and the past that I don’t want to repeat. I refuse to ever be a victim or be an easy prey for a man to easily take advantage. I must stay true to my truth and pay attention to my desires so that they are kept in the proper position in my life. I respect my strengths as well as weaknesses and work toward being the best version of MsMissy at all times. There isn’t a relationship, platonic or romantic, that can make me into my best self. That’s my responsibility.
My life is one exciting experience after another and I’m so blessed to learn so much about myself and life at such a young age. I’ve matured in so many ways and still find ways to keep growing up. Life is a journey and a series of lessons that are designed to teach us. We are taught about basic human nature, our strengths, shortcomings, and frailty. If we let it, life will teach us how to ask for help, as well as be of help, and know what’s important and what’s frivolous. Sometimes the lessons are fun while others are painful and sometimes break our hearts.
What we do with the opportunities to learn lessons makes all the difference. We can close up, shut down and become bitter or open our hearts and minds to knowledge, understanding and wisdom. We can learn to love by experiencing hate. We can be the best friends, parents and lovers because of our lack of friends, absent parents and abusive lovers. We get to choose. We can follow the negative examples we’ve seen or seek out better examples to follow.
Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. It’s going to be okay. Stay centered in the things that matter most – the things that add to the quality of your life and help point you in the right direction toward your best life. We all have dreams, huge hopes and desires. But do we see the big picture? Are we so consumed with where we want to be that we forget to celebrate where we are? Every step forward is a success. Every moment of strength and courage is a success. We are more than where we’re trying to get to and the things we want. We are the journey that gets us there. Every step counts. Don’t spend them overwhelmed, obsessed and stressed. Take time to laugh, smile and reflect. Have some fun. Treat yourself to a new experience or your favorite hobby. Whatever you do, do you and do it well. Embrace your life. Accept your challenges and then conquer them.
P.S. I’m still so looking forward to love.
I started Moments with Missy via a private Facebook group in 2012. These were literally moments when I would share my heart and specific details of my life with my audience. I didn’t just share my experiences, struggles and triumphs but I shared how I overcame them. I shared the not-so-pretty parts of my life and the ups and downs during my journey toward hope and happiness. I didn’t plan to have a website, blog or create a brand. I just wanted people to know that they weren’t alone and that they didn’t need to wear masks – they could be honest about what they were going through.
While I was sharing and being vulnerable, I was building quite the collection of content. In February of 2015, I published my first book, MsMissy Speaks, an inspirational memoir that consists of real, raw moments of my life, detailing my struggle with depression, abusive relationship and loss of loved ones. I had know idea how effective Moments with Missy would become. What started as me virtually stepping up to the mic and giving my pain a voice has blossomed into full ministry. I am so blessed to have had an opportunity to minister to people near and far and to receive positive feedback on my book, blog and social media content from those I know well and don’t know at all. I am honored that God would take the broken girl I once was and transform her into the woman you see today.
I still have my struggles. I still have to deal with the effects of my past mistakes and decisions. But I am strong, resilient and becoming more and more wise. Now that Moments with Missy has become official and has taken on a life of its own, I have to be more vigilant and focused than ever. A lot of my time has been spent teaching, mentoring, coaching and pouring into others. I realize that I need to invest more time in me. I must continue to take care of Missy. There is no way I can pour from an empty vessel.
When I began Moments with Missy it was to be of help to others. I don’t want to lose sight of that. I’ve gotten a little distracted with creating the brand. I want to reconnect with the purpose of Moments with Missy and make sure that that purpose is reflected in everything that I say and do. I want to help people live their best lives. I want to empower, inspire and motivate, using my life and my truth as a backdrop for the story of hope. Life is truly a gift and it is worth living. Nothing is more important than being happy and at peace. My biggest happy is loving God and putting Him first in my life. This has resulted in my greatest peace.
Being able to combine my degree in Psychology, experience servicing the mentally ill and my own life experiences with depression and toxic relationships to create a platform for empowerment and hope has been a blessing. My painful past has turned into something good. I am able to relate to and be empathetic toward people because I understand hopelessness, feeling lost, grief, betrayal, sickness and the tendency to live a life less than one deserves. I have learned to survive and then thrive. I have learned to allow my obstacles to fuel me forward. Instead of accepting defeat, I constantly look forward to the thrill of the thrive. I love conquering and refusing to cower to life’s blows. I love being happy and intentional – filling my days with the things and people I enjoy.
Reader, I invite you to join me on a journey of hope and healing. A journey that celebrates life, wellness and the process of growing through the pain. There’s no need to pretend that everything is perfect. There’s no reason to pretend that you like every circumstance. The only need is to keep going, moving forward. Trust the process. Trust in you. Believe that you are more than able to handle whatever may come your way because you are able.