Eviction Notices: Identifying Toxic Relationships
So, it’s time to make some changes and show people and bad habits the door. This sounds scary and really huge. I know. It’s not as easy as talking about it; but it can be done. This is a continuation of the post published on July 24th of this month.
What did you come up with while you were reflecting and evaluating your relationships? Is everything A-OK? Are you in need of any changes? I know that I have needed change many times. Guess what? The greatest change will have to take place inside of you. But there are some external ones as well. We’ll get there.
I’ve learned that priorities are important. Deciding what’s most important is crucial. Physical safety is #1. Please, make sure you are in a place that keeps you physically out of danger. It’s then important that you have a level of mental clarity. Addictions (such as drug and alcohol abuse) can be a hindrance and treatment is necessary. Once you’re safe and have clarity of mind, it’s easier to start the eviction process. The eviction I’m talking about is emotional and mental.
Some people need to separated from you immediately. Others, especially those you live and work with, will require a different approach. Some people like parents / guardians, siblings, children and significant others are extremely intertwined in our mental and emotional make up. Our relationships with them usually affect us the most and they are the hardest people to evict.
I’ll explain. Breathe. Please don’t panic. I’m here with you during this process. Let’s keep going.
The purpose is to pry people’s emotional and mental holds off of you. This includes guilt trips, holding the past over your head and allowing their well-being to be more important than yours. No one’s health should come before your own. How can you help them if you’re not at your best? Get well so you can help others. After evaluating your relationships, there are people who have probably already started coming to your mind. You know who they are. Their negative influence has got to go. (Deuces ✌).
But before you give them their walking papers you have to understand your hiring process. In other words, how did you contribute to the relationship being where it is? Was there a need they supplied or a role they played that once brought comfort? Did the dynamics of your connection form out of fear, loneliness or desperation? Why are they in your life? How did they get there? Are you following me? This is NOT the blame game, this is a type of reflection called introspection. This part of the process is about the What and the Why so you can avoid similar relationships in the future.
I think this is a good place to pause for now. This is a lot to process. Please, use this time to tap into you. You possess the answers and much more power over your relationships than you realize. Decide who needs less access to you and less influence over your life. Take your time. Feel free to go back to step one in the previous post.
I’m here to help you. If this seems overwhelming or if you want personalized help, you may benefit from scheduling an individual coaching session with me. Reach out via my website and schedule a sessoin today. www.momentswithmissy.com/services.