Emotional Checkup: Identifying Toxic Relationships

This is part 3 in our series on identifying toxic relationships. It’s quite a process to evaluate relationships objectively. In fact, it’s an ongoing process. One that exists out of love and protection for self.

So, how are things going? Have you made new discoveries or accepted what you already knew was truth about your relationships? Was the eviction process easier or more difficult than you expected? More than likely, the ones you discovered to be the most toxic are, or where, the most difficult to address and change. That’s okay, you did not fail. Let’s talk about the emotional process in all of this.

Up to this point, I’ve been pretty logical with my approach. That’s because the emotions are tricky and when it comes to relationships, it’s important to think logically so you can make the necessary decisions. Now, let’s link the two together.

Your emotions have tied you together with the individual(s). That initial chemistry, spark or click was exciting. It felt good to be in their presence. Perhaps they filled a void or reminded you of someone dear that you lost. You probably had moments of laughter or intense attraction. Maybe they helped you forget a tragedy. Perhaps they provided an escape from reality. Either way, they offered you an enjoyable life experience.

It’s important to remember that you are not at fault. Most toxic relationships have a moment where it felt like they would work. People spend the rest of the time in search of reconnecting with that moment. By taking the time to think logically about your relationship(s), and to now approach it emotionally, you are more capable of evaluating it properly.


When you connect the emotional need that the relationship provides (or once provided) with the logical aspect of the relationship, what do you get? Does it make sense? Does it add to your life, overall? Is your emotional fulfillment greater than the emotional and mental damage the relationship causes you? Is there even an actual fulfillment or does it only seem to be one? If you are being damaged, abused, stressed or belittled by a relationship, I suggest that you are not actually benefiting from it. Would you agree?

This third part in our series is to make a complete circle and connect everything back to you. You have the power to determine whether or not a relationship works for you. You are the only one who can determine whether or not a relationship aligns with who you are, where you want to go and your needs. By paying attention to the emotions associated with the relationship and the logic connecting them, you still maintain control. You are now more informed than when you started out.

This process only works effectively when you are 100% honest with yourself. Remember, truth grounds you. It rescues you from fleeting emotions and fantasies that the mind can create. Truth brings you to a solid and stable place. Truth is not always easy to accept; but it is true. It means you no harm. Allow it to guide you.

Hope Always,


I look forward to hearing from you. Was this series helpful? Was it easy to understand and apply to your life?

If you have any questions or need clarity, do not hesitate to reach out to me.

If you’d like to schedule an individual session with me, to discuss your life and relationship goals, problems and concerns, just let me know. You can contact me via email at msmissy@momentswithmissy.com.

Posted by

Heyyy!! My name is Melissa. I'm affectionately called Missy. I'm a survivor who has learned to thrive! As one who has overcome depression, suicide, abuse and physical illness, I know that hope is real. Everything that I've been through has been for my good. My struggle helped me to more clearly see me and discover hope, happiness, and purpose.

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