What does your gut tell you?
This isn’t fail proof but it’s an important step. When our heart and emotions lead us astray, our gut (truth teller) can be trusted. It’s that part of us that knows that something is off. That part of us that’s dissatisfied, troubled and void of peace. It might be a quiet, steady alert or a blazing alarm. Either way, listen to it. Allow it to be your guide.
I have frequently found myself unhappy with, stressed and annoyed by relationships. These were early signs that something about the interaction wasn’t working for me. I would always mess up because I’d bring my heart (emotions) into the picture before my head (logic) and the facts. Ignoring problems and unsettling behaviors as well as ignoring what we know is truth helps to create, strengthen and maintain toxic relationships.
Denial and a lack of connection with self make a perfect breeding ground for unhealthy connections. Looking for validation, approval, praise and identity outside of ourselves is the direct access to toxic living. What makes a relationship toxic? When you can’t stand as a whole individual without the other person. Covers a lot of relationships doesn’t it? Romantic, friendships, parent and child, co-workers, neighbors, etc.
What relationship dynamic makes you less than the person you used to be or could be? What relationship depletes your energy and happiness? Is there someone who constantly reminds you of your failures, flaws and limitations? Can you function without their approval? Are you in a cycle of being praised and condemned? Feeling confused? It’s time to evaluate who has been given the keys to your life. Are you driving or being driven? Did you choose the journey that you’re on or was it chosen for you?
There is a lot to consider and I don’t want to overwhelm you. Did you know that simple reflection and being honest with yourself is a powerful step? Just stop. Think. Acknowledge truth. That alone will position you to make major moves and life-changing adjustments.
I’ll get into more next time. I hope you’ll take some time to chew on what’s been written.