I’ve been trying to write a blog post for days. I have literally started four different drafts. I wanted a follow-up for April’s blog post and give you guys an update and glimpse into what’s going on with me. So, I decided to sit all pretenses aside and just start writing (or should I say using the text-to-speech feature on my tablet).
I have been in a very wonderful space. I’ve been more quiet than usual on social media and haven’t been doing live videos. I’ve taken some time to examine me, my life, my expectations and exactly where I’m going next.
Getting here was not easy; and I have never felt so alone in my purpose. This is a good thing, though. It has forced me to be certain about everything that I do. I can’t rely on anyone else’s insight more than my own. I can’t measure myself by the standards of others. I have to be true to me. Living for me and doing what I do has never meant so much. I have refocused myself and am more ready than ever to do what God has called me to do. I’m sometimes nervous and sometimes scared; but more than anything I’m excited.
In April, I made an error of judgement. Nothing major but a lesson learned just the same. I instantly felt discouraged and started doubting myself and the future of Moments with Missy. However, it was only meant to be a teaching moment that would help me GROW. I had to be okay with my mistake and move beyond it. I had to evolve. My mistake came from me overextending myself and trying to save the world. I have since accepted that not everyone is for me and I’m not for everyone. My path is my path and only my responsibility to walk. God knows that I want to see everyone blessed, healed, comforted and delivered. But not everyone is assigned to me. I’m not a superhero.
Slow down, Missy. Slow down.
Life has become a little more simple with me taking some steps back to evaluate who I am becoming and where I’m headed. I’m determined to live a more balanced and healthy life. I’m in the process of learning how to take my excitement to God, in prayer, so that I’m not over extended by my passions. I’m excited that at this point in my journey, when I have come so far, I am still able to learn so much. I still have a lot of personal growth and healing to experience; but I’m doing well. It only gets better from here.
I’m confident in me because I’m confident in the God that created me. I’m blessed to have been gifted the spirit of Hope. I’m blessed to be able to find the good in every situation. I’m blessed to be in a healthy state of mind, free from the holds of depression and suicide. I wake up every morning with purpose that ignites my heart and gives me strength to keep going. I’m so grateful for opportunities that mature and settle me. Despite all the things that are not perfect in my life, I’m blessed to have many more to celebrate. I’m happy. I’m at peace. I am ready to move forward and be the woman I’m meant to be, living my best life, always.
The words of a song, made famous by Mahalia Jackson, best describes what I’m feeling in this moment. “If I can help somebody, as I pass along, Then my living shall not be in vain.” That’s still important to me (in moderation). It’s what this Moments with Missy journey has been all about. It was never about me or my brand or my image or who would and wouldn’t support me. This has been about ministry. This has been about helping other people through my story. I am honored that I get to be a beacon of light. It’s not always a glamorous experience but it’s real. I am so thankful for every platform God gives. I am a miracle. I am a witness that life can become worth living. May I never forget.