Life has brought so many things my way. Some have been indescribably beautiful and others have been downright terrifying. But I have survived everything. Not one thing has taken me out. I came pretty close to going under but I’m still standing.
There were many days when my troubles and the pain of my past bullied me into silence and despair. Now they fuel me forward. They make me want to fight. They make me want to be a better woman, a better friend, better family member, and a better advocate for the wounded, abandoned and abused.
Becoming physically disabled was one of the hardest things of my life. Acknowledging that I was disabled and filing for disability was just about the worst. But the label hasn’t labeled me. It just means I qualify for extra help. I might move a little slower than others but I move and my progress has been mind-blowing. I have survived.
The lonely moments, the isolation, the seasons of great difficulty. They matter. They have the potential to build character, integrity, and provide clarity. For me, they have cleared out the excess noise. They have allowed me to become more focused on what it is that’s actually important for my life in this particular season. As much as they hurt, they actually come to help. Sometimes we do too much. Sometimes we have too many people. Sometimes, we are trying to keep up with the large crowd and that’s not our mission. Our mission is to fulfill the plan and the purpose for our life. That doesn’t necessarily involve anyone, actually. We are blessed to have a handful of friends or family as support; but sometimes they become distractions. Sometimes they become the people and the standards by which we compare ourselves. We can get lost surrounded by a host of people. It’s the moments of quiet, and maybe even isolation and feeling abandoned, that form the stable, mature, and centered person we’re meant to be.
I remember. Do you?
Have you taken the time to consider just how far you’ve come? Are you able to remember experiences that may have positively shaped you or taught you unforgettable lessons? It’s important that you do in order to gain a more objective and positive perspective on your life.
Some things that we face are beyond words. Some experiences we wish to God we could erase. I haven’t figured everything out. I can’t explain every single one of my pains; but I do know that without them I’d still be that fragile girl looking for someone to rescue her. I remember that girl. I remember being that girl. I remember being a victim. I remember believing that I had little to no control over my life. I remember the lies. I remember feeling that I was less than — that I wasn’t smart or good enough. I remember discovering that I am a Queen. I remember the day when I found my voice and I started using it to tell my nasty truths. I remember when finding my voice gave me the strength to hold my head up and own my story. I remember telling people my truth and watching their eyes light up because they realized that I was someone they could connect with and someone who could understand where they had been, where they were currently, and where it was they wanted to go.
I remember and I refuse to forget.
My book, MsMissy Speaks, is available for purchase on my website and at the APS Books and More bookstore in Chicago.